I have to mention this before mondays formative assessment as I think it is important. I need to get it off my chest.
Im realising as I have mentioned in a previous post ways in which I can work faster and do more development work which in turn will lead to a better final peice, This year its a tad to late.
But I am completing everything on time. It is getting done, maybe not to the standard I want but it is getting done. This way at least The worse that can happen is that I have to do some things again, fair play I dont mind that. It wont be so time consuming as it would have been if it hadent been done at all.
What really bugs me is that If I wanted my game production work to be awesome at this level The time I would have to put in would mean that i would have to forget about visual design, Im not good enough yet to make it brilliant and produce good work for visual design. It works both ways, awesome visual design work would mean little or no game production.
The best I can hope to do is achieve and progress little by little. I think I have progressed from what ive been told.
Im putting so much time into this and sometimes it feels im doing things the wrong way or not getting anything out of it but I always was super critical about my own work.
Last monday I finally got normal maps to work. Near the end of my first year.
Its taken a year to ask myself "why am I doing this" , I had a dream once, a dream that I didnt know I could make real and just by chance I found myself being guided as if by some greater power in the direction of this dream.
From the college course guide that I threw on the coffee table that fell open on the art and design page, to the college open day where the lecturer told me that people went on to do game art, applying through ucas for one course and being worried It was a no, to the weeks waiting thinking my dreams had been shattered to the nagging emails I sent, to the email I got on that friday afternoon in college that confirmed I had been accepted.
When your mind is consumed by work and fear of the future its hard to forget where your dreams began.
But the chance to make them a reality? Why would anyone throw that away? This is more than a bit of drawing writing and 3d software, This is a chance to make all of those dreams come true. How many people on this earth can say they have been in the position to make there dreams come true? I am guessing not many.
So whatever happens on monday, My true test of strength will be how I come back from it, How I pick myself up. Life is too short not to grab every chance and oppurtunity that comes your way and hold the hell onto it with all your strength and might, it will test your willpower your emotional strength your stamina to carry the hell on over every single obstacle that gets in your way.
I often have compared success to a path, I take that back, it is an adventure and I dont have to do it alone I have people behind me pushing me, helping me encouraging me to go that little bit further.
Im realising as I have mentioned in a previous post ways in which I can work faster and do more development work which in turn will lead to a better final peice, This year its a tad to late.
But I am completing everything on time. It is getting done, maybe not to the standard I want but it is getting done. This way at least The worse that can happen is that I have to do some things again, fair play I dont mind that. It wont be so time consuming as it would have been if it hadent been done at all.
What really bugs me is that If I wanted my game production work to be awesome at this level The time I would have to put in would mean that i would have to forget about visual design, Im not good enough yet to make it brilliant and produce good work for visual design. It works both ways, awesome visual design work would mean little or no game production.
The best I can hope to do is achieve and progress little by little. I think I have progressed from what ive been told.
Im putting so much time into this and sometimes it feels im doing things the wrong way or not getting anything out of it but I always was super critical about my own work.
Last monday I finally got normal maps to work. Near the end of my first year.
Its taken a year to ask myself "why am I doing this" , I had a dream once, a dream that I didnt know I could make real and just by chance I found myself being guided as if by some greater power in the direction of this dream.
From the college course guide that I threw on the coffee table that fell open on the art and design page, to the college open day where the lecturer told me that people went on to do game art, applying through ucas for one course and being worried It was a no, to the weeks waiting thinking my dreams had been shattered to the nagging emails I sent, to the email I got on that friday afternoon in college that confirmed I had been accepted.
When your mind is consumed by work and fear of the future its hard to forget where your dreams began.
But the chance to make them a reality? Why would anyone throw that away? This is more than a bit of drawing writing and 3d software, This is a chance to make all of those dreams come true. How many people on this earth can say they have been in the position to make there dreams come true? I am guessing not many.
So whatever happens on monday, My true test of strength will be how I come back from it, How I pick myself up. Life is too short not to grab every chance and oppurtunity that comes your way and hold the hell onto it with all your strength and might, it will test your willpower your emotional strength your stamina to carry the hell on over every single obstacle that gets in your way.
I often have compared success to a path, I take that back, it is an adventure and I dont have to do it alone I have people behind me pushing me, helping me encouraging me to go that little bit further.
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