Monday, 1 October 2012

*Task 13. Reflection on year one and asparations for year 2

So its time to revisit my thoughts? That is laughable, said as if my “wannabe game artist mind” goes off on a round the world cruise in the instances when I am not in the labs. “oh I haven't seen the fletcher tower for a few months I can stop thinking about wanting to be a games artist”.
Oh my word .
My brain always did go off on little adventures, anyone whose ever read the musings on this blog will know that.

The point I am trying to make is that the thinking never stops and neither does the learning. The break was an opportunity to get better. So much time, not using that time to my full advantage would be a waste. 20 weeks is not enough. 12 hours self directed study is definitely not enough.

I have always enjoyed writing about my aspirations and general thoughts on the subject but then again I have always loved writing. Not necessarily about the correct things but my love for the written word and using it in the best and most interesting way I can to express my self.

I realised this summer that this affliction with writing was not doing me any good. Talking a good project? Were will that get me? I thought to myself and I am gutted that I didn't realise this obvious statement sooner.  

Why am I spending countless hours writing about how awesome I want to be when I could be developing the skills I need to be awesome.

If I appeared to disappear of the face of the earth its because I stopped talking and started doing. Simple as. Better still I was able to apply this to other areas of my life aswell. Things I talked about doing but hadn't done got done. Ultimately I am proud of myself.

Its never a good thing to congratulate or belate yourself excessively. Nothing is certain as of yet. I will have to carry on doing with some commentary this time.

Starting university is about discovering independence after all we are here by choice from the decisions we have made possibly on our own, but more likely from the guidance of others. We find independence in our lives through moving away from our parents possibly for the first time, learning how to look after and be responsible for ourselves. More importantly we gain independence in our thought and wanting this independence is a reason a lot choose to come to university.
This new independence and responsibility has an impact on the way we learn to. It shows us we can. It develops the knowledge that we are able. It encourages us to try and do more things independently away from the over protectiveness and mollycoddling of parents and teachers from school or college.


We have to look after ourselves and be responsible for our lives and learning. There are no teachers contacting parents saying we have not done our homework. We are solely responsible for the outcome.
I am thankful for the learning year I have had. It is good to know that a lot of people are not prepared for the transition to university and the independence they will need in there learning. This is one of the reasons why the first year was so important. People are entering with different levels of experience but are generalised as having little which is a good thing. If all are treated as needing to learn the same fundamental skills and are encouraged to ask a lot of questions. It is very easy for teachers to teach those fundamental skills to a large groups of students. 
 
The first year is about learning and developing those skills whether they were good to start off with or rock bottom or non existant. Having a first year that does not count towards your finally degree helps that transition run a lot more smoothly. First year was about developing the skills remembering and understanding those skills.
If there was word I could use to advise anyone on how to get on well with anything particularly when trying something new it would be “balance”. Balance is key.
Going out? Completing coursework? Which one is it. It never has to be all work and no play but finding that balance is vital.
Weigh out your responsibility's and decide what is the most important.

I am glad for the day that I fought my fears and opened up 3ds max again. I found passion this time a passion for creating things in 3D that I struggled to find before. I spent a whole year talking about how I wanted to channel that passion without really knowing exactly how I could do that.
To channel passion one needs to have passion. Obvious but sometimes overlooked. If I were making any object In 3d or painting any picture in 2d there would be something there that would trigger that passion, a memory perhaps a similarity in something I love. Once you have found it the whole atmosphere of that project changes and you are able to just do it. Some may call that being in “the zone”.

Passion and productivity run alongside one another, the more love you have the better and faster you will produce the work.  

Confidence also plays a huge part in this and skill. You need to know how and have the confidence to pull it off.

At the start of the second year, the fundamental skills have been learnt and practised and hopefully understood. Still though every student will be at a different level and have strengths and weaknesses.
Because those needs will be different depending on the student. It would be impossible for lecturers to cater to the needs of every single student at this level. Students will need to be encouraged to figure out for themselves what they need to learn and get better at and go and learn it. Just learning what you need that will help you however is not enough this approach needs to be maintained and applied. Through maintaining purposeful learning and applying it a student will have the capacity to unlock there potential.
What do I need to learn to get the results I want? 
 The following quote from an article about purposeful learning at www.tefljobsnetwork.co.uk#describes this much more eloquently than I have.


Through purposeful learning we define and refine our visions, values, goals and action plans. We also bring them into sync with the rest our lives.”

As for my own learning I have still got a long way to go but looking forward to taking every step. 

Year 1 showed me that those steps will not always be steps forward. Through experience I am prepared to take those steps be they rough or smooth.

The progress I have made this summer has not been all uphill there are times when I've gotten better ,gotten worse then better again. The failures make the triumphs so much sweeter and knowing I will triumph if I keep focused and keep trying make the failures so much easier to accept. “No this doesn't work? So what will?” This inspired me to find new ways to do things ways that had a purpose that would increase the skills I need and build on those I already have.
Determination, desire, discipline , damn good work ethic.

Questions before answers, not just skills for skills sake. The determination to figure out the questions “what do I need to learn to achieve something?” and the discipline to motivate myself to find the answers I need.



The group project I believe will be an important part of the learning in year 2 as we will take our understanding and the skills we have developed and start to apply those skills, then analyse and evaluate what we have done.
As well as this we will develop a better understanding of team work and how to interact with our peers to achieve a goal. Teamwork.
I have some knowledge of what is required to work as part of a team due to past employment and I know that you will have to be tolerant of people who you do not nessecarily get on with. 
 
Being stubborn is not an option understanding the diversity of people you have to overcome your differences. You have to think beyond that to get the job done, so to speak.
This takes a lot of dedication and a willing to understand and be appreciative of others needs and aspirations. So we are able to think, communicate and co-operate as one.
Experience tells me this may not always be achievable and there will be disagreements and personality clashes.
I kind of know what to expect here.
The reality of it is that you need to get over these hurdles. I have no preference as to who I'm with, isn't that the whole point to learn to get on with different kinds of people, preparing us for the real world.

This experience will help us transcend into the 3rd year way of learning/thinking. Knowing what works and what doesn't where we will be able to start making are own decisions on what to create and what we need to do to solve our own problems.

A lot of advice and feedback I have been given in the first year, in fact all of it clicked into place.
I didn't quite understand it. Until I thought it through.
Working throughout the summer I finally realised exactly how much work I needed and will continue to need to put in and I now understand why heather said to consistently work with the software. The more you do the better you get right? Damn right.
Finding new ways to do things,
I need to document all of the self directed study I do to be able to show progress in my blog this way it will be a damn site easier to look back and see exactly how much progress I have made. And a hell of a lot easier to write about it. 

According to an article on www.prs.heacademy.ac.uk,


  “students who take time to review what they have learnt, or have effective ways of recording what they have studied are the ones who tend to make the fastest progress”


It wasn't long after I got the brown envelope through the letterbox that I finally realised exactly what I had to do if I ever wanted a decent shot at this. Last year I got the grades I deserved and I understand the importance of having a first year to learn and to practice the skills I need. 20 weeks isn't enough though,

I was lucky enough to see my father over the break, he gave me this advice “Improve in the areas where you are weak without neglecting your strengths” dad said. Game production was the area I was weakest at, and I want to be a 3d artist. Not a good combination.

Being a wannabe is fine...at first . Anyone who ever made it into anything started wanting to be something, its what they did to make that happen that counted.

 I knew that game production is where the majority of my efforts would go during summer after all if I cant get awesome at this then there is no point. Get better at 3d or crash and burn in year 2. There is an ultimatum if there ever was one.
I went over everything I had learnt, decided what else I needed to learn and made sure as hell I learnt it. Looking back at last years work I realised what was wrong with it and what I had to do, I didn't see it at the time but now it is oh so clear. All of the criticism fell into place.

 The only regret I had is that I was so close to throwing the towel in. Sometimes its easy to be so focused on one goal it is hard to remember the steps you need to take. All we need to learn to be a great artist is how to open our eyes. Some say that if you keep trying you will get better and it is easy to think “when will that happen?” from experience its usually directly after you seriously consider giving up. Not giving up, not quitting is what separates the failures from those who succeed. 


 The line between failure and success is so fine you cant even see it. That's probably why it seems so impossible to cross. 
 
Having little faith in my ability to get better. It was just after I was about to give up on it that it started to work for me. I will take this knowledge with me to the next life it is gold dust.

I knew that certain things were not working and that I had to find new ways to do things, find a new way to unwrap, build normal maps, rig, study anatomy , find new ways to model and work on the aesthetics of my work are just some example's and more design process, fill a layout pad with quick character sketches look back and see how your ideas have evolved through the rubbish to something else entirely. I'm going to make sure I carry on with the design process that is oh so important.

I was told to find new ways to do things last year but never really clicked on what this meant. I'm glad I have. Relieved even. Happy and looking forward to the future.
There will be good days and there will be bad. That's life it leaves you on your back with your legs in the air., we work hard then we die we will never know when that will happen. The important thing is that we try. Try and be the best people that we can be in the time we have. 

Thoughts on the upcoming year

I am going to enter year 2 with an attitude rich in positivity and confidence. I used to think that confidence was a superficial thing based on outward appearance. Its a little more complicated than that unfortunately. If that was the case only blonde haired blue eyed females would get anywhere in life. Through trying to improve on the superficial things I have learnt that Confidence starts from within.

More importantly I am going to have faith and believe in myself. In a society where faith is crushed from an early age and conformity is forced on us, that is easier said than done.
We are born believers, as we grow older we learn that everything we believe strongly in is a lie. The tooth fairy, Santa clause, God for some (depending on what you believe). Then it escalates to our relationships our dreams then ourselves? Our ability to succeed. My 11 year old still believes in Santa clause, I refuse to be responsible for setting off THAT time bomb. I wish I still believed in Santa clause. 

The concept of faith has so many advantages. I'm going to believe in myself and my ability to succeed, without gliding away from reality. 

 I can make this a reality. it is in my hands. It is important to have faith in something it doesn't matter what just have faith in something and make sure as hell that you hang on to it.

The future beyond this year? Autonomous learning in year 3? Learning in different ways definitely keeps you on your toes. The reason a third year is more able and mentally equipped to be a guru to less experienced students is because they learn to think for themselves which is essentially what autonomous learning is. It enables you to acquire the frame of mind to seek resources for yourself ,solve your own problems and have outside knowledge that you can use to and bring back into the learning environment and share with others.
It is particularly important in an environment where “buddy sharing” or students teaching each other is encouraged.
I aspire to try and do this “buddy sharing” as much as I can even at 2nd year level and bring something back to the labs so to speak. I would no means be the greatest guru in the world but there will be some things I have learnt through my short time here that those less experienced do not.
Seeking answers and finding different ways to solve problems off your own back gives you experience and the ability to share more. In turn this would keep up the motivation of other people in the learning environment. So not only would it have an impact on my own experience it would also have an impact on the experience of other students.
It sounds like a responsibility, it is, but being responsible especially for your own learning is another skill that is developed by encouraging autonomous learning. A skill that will see you through all of your life and that is necessary to be a successful student and a professional human being.
How many of us would still be here if we asked other students for help and were told to get lost? There are hundreds of us it would be impossible for all of us to constantly hassle the lecturers for help, so buddy sharing is the answer. So its not a case of having other students to bail you out as some people have stated there annoyance over. It is not cheating as some have stated. It benefits all of us in turn. 
 
Knowing I have helped others would give me the encouragement to go out and find more information off my own back , say if there was a problem I didn't know the answer to. Doing this would build my own confidence in the subject as I would be building on my own knowledge. Asides from being a mentor to others the knowledge I will need to gain will be self specific depending on my own needs and goals even more so than the purposeful learning expected in year two.
Someone who has there heart set on character design would go about this in a different way to someone who wanted to be an environment artist or a concept artist. The skills needed can be quite specific, there is no point gaining extensive knowledge in character rigging if you have no intention of being a character artist.
Our different goals would mean that all of us may have different knowledge to bring back to the labs.


Finally a note about independence.


I would like to add that there is a common misconception about independence. By definition Independence in when someone goes off and does something themselves, partly true but not wholly correct in my opinion. Independence does not mean shutting yourself off from the world and doing everything alone. If this were the case you could go and study your degree in some underground bunker were you didn't see a soul for however many weeks. This is were buddy sharing comes in again getting feedback and constructive criticism from your peers and believe it or not lecturers, independence does not mean you don't have to speak to your teachers again. Teachers help create the “habit of mind" needed for autonoomous learning. The feedback they can give you will help you immensely. As sometimes it takes another's point of view to make you see things clearly. No matter how able you have become. 
 


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