Monday, 26 March 2012

*Review of the 1st year - I just got this uni stuff.

Guess what, I just got this uni stuff, and the answer is what ive been doing all along. Searching for the answers myself.

Go and find the answers yourself, be critical with yourself and go out and work on finding the answers to make your work better. Ive been searching for that answer for a year.

I can only compare the quest to the story of moses, Moses searched all his life for the promised land and couldnt find it, thats because he was already in it.

Mission accomplished..... Not quite, must carry on seeking out the answers and learning independently, im at university, not playschool.

If that isnt my biggest achievment of the year, I dont know what is.

*****
University in general

Unfortunatley I dont feel like I have gelled with the other students. I think thats part to do with the fact I dont live here. I dont think its the age difference between me and most of them, im not ageist even though some of the moaning about having time really pees me off because I do it. I need to be more understanding and the constant reference to certain parts of the male body, i really dont see the fascination with that.
I just try to think, I was that age, I was the same, there still learning.
I do get invited out but sitting in a pub/bar/club getting wasted isnt my thing, I rarely drink because I cant face the aftermath so I dont see the point and its a waste of money. I made a little group of friends but I think ive seen one of them twice outside of uni, shes great Jess. I didnt come here to make friends but it does help having the support.

I envy those who have gelled/have partners on the course/ have friends nearby from the course, the benefits to them will be immense/ have been immense, good luck to them.

That gurus thing

Yeah, this should of been a window of oppurtunity but wasnt. I think that if I was an 18 year old bit of stuff. I would have had more luck with that. Im not so I had no luck. I did ask, all i got was this noise "uuugggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" well "uuugggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh" back to you. It didnt help that the rest of the grasshoppers group was in a different class.
One of them however gave advice later which I thought was honourable, after all whats it like being a 3rd year? the pressure. 1st years in your face.... I cant even imagine so well done anyway lads. 
I wish id put more effort into the gurus thing, I wish id been a better grasshopper.

To the ones who told me to put diffuse maps into crazy bump to make normal maps, thanks, thanks for making me aspire to not be so flippin' gullible. and yes! it was a big thing.

A certain 2nd year however was there in the first month to help out. I dont need to say his name, I thought and still think to this day that he is awesome. I hope he gets first class honours and becomes the best games artist in the world. I hope he makes a lot of money. He saved so many, I hope he gets the credit he deserves. Hes also the only lad I know who can pull off the black jumper well.

From that point I went it alone determined to do it for myself, every challenge i overcame was a triumph.

Lets talk about the subjects. Im going to be honest.

Critical studies.

The recent project havefun, is awesome and I would love more of the same in future. I think the "blog thing" is an excellent idea. I enjoy writing as a whole If I can get passionate about it I love it. I felt this at the beginning a spark of something would inspire me to write about the subjects in a different way and i believe it worked at first, not so much recently. I found I had ran out of ideas and my writing became a little boring and uninteresting.

I think the lectures on character design were really informative changed my way of thinking and I feel we are being given ideas, lots of them, even being fed them. I wish I had of acted on them.

I think I only missed 1 of the wednesday films. Shame there finished, liked them.

I think that the lectures we had when we would do group discussions were a really good idea because it helped people gel.  That was the first time id spoken to many of them. As it stands there are people who I still do not know very well or at all or have never spoken to.

I have tried to write about progression in my blog, I do not know If I have suceeded or not with that one. I keep thinking I may be missing the point with alot of my writing. I need to ask for feedback more often.

Visual Design.

Drawing outside in the rain  is character building, deciding to stay in the rain for 4 hrs is determination. making the decision not to go to the pub instead requires sheer will power. honestly i dont know what to say about this one anymore, brainwashing? good job there.

Game production

This is a challenge, doing it is one thing, but planning it, doing  it , doing it well and making it interesting is something else entirely. Mastering all of these things and putting it all together in the end that is my goal.
Knowing at the end of the year we have to do the visual design for game production makes sense. This will require more tedious planning and time management. Looking forward to learning how to do that.

Overall

This year has been a learning curve, not just academically but emotionally as well. I hope I can learn from my mistakes and apply what I have learnt so I can aim to be a better artist and a better person.
The thought of giving up now is not an option, discussing it with another mature student we both agreed that this is like a holiday in comparison to the alternative. Because the real world is Nasty, people are nasty and eventually it turns you nasty but that dosent have to happen. The way i see it you can never be a bad person as long as you keep trying and never give up on your dreams and ambitions.

Looking forward....

I am looking forward to ( fib) the group thing next year, I dont care who I am put with.( fib) I just want to build my people skills that is something im not so great at. Never have been a people person its alway been do this move on but i want to hang onto all the people I can, stick with them and never loose them. Things are no fun when you do them on your own and that is the way it goes down.

Advice

If I was to give advice to any potential game art students this would be it;

Go to the gurus and grasshoppers thing, if you hate it keep doing it anyway learn all you can.

Learn all you can from the tutors, they know what there saying, listening will help so much.

Believe, in yourself and have confidence, even if your not very good, without it how far can you go? not very believe me.

and most importantly never ever give up, you will get there as long as you never loose faith.


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