Sunday, 3 June 2012

thoughts on next year n stuff

Someone questioned me today as to why I was still writing in my blog after the acedemic year is over.
The answer to that question is that my learning has not stopped just because the year has "ended".  At this moment in time I am prepared to use the next 4 months to practice relentlessly at everything after all this "is" my life.  Take responsibility for my own learning, so I will have to do what I think is right, thats what being independent is all about making your own decisions and standing on your own two feet.

I am sick of publishing bad work in this blog even if it still means I am having a go. I have faith though that I will improve and I can look back in the future and see that as I have done.
When I reviewed the first year I felt like I missed so much out. I reviewed the course but did not really review the social aspect of uni, which is a HUGE part of it, it is even part of the learning which I did not realise until the end. I dont usually hold back with verbalising my thoughts. Now will be no exeption.

I have never been the going-outy type.  I dont read people to well and I never ever have and it does take me a while to "click on" to things. After christmas uni was a misery for me,  It wasnt the course work, I liked the work else I wouldnt carry it on. The fact that some people think its ok to alienate people and delibretley create trouble for people disturbs me. That is the reason why I have been working at home the last 6 weeks and not in the labs. Next year will be different.

Although I do worry about next year and I am sure the anxiety will carry me through until the end of summer and into early autumn. I am worried about group projects and I tried to build myself a decent reputation as someone who works hard I hope I still have that to some degree.
It would be cool to be good enough to earn an internship and I hope I will be encouraged besides the obvious set backs I have. I understand diversity but when its at my own expense.
I am making a fresh start next year.  I have only scraped the surface, I am stronger than this believe me.
On a lighter note It would be cool if some more "mature" students came on the course and I dont mean mature in age  I mean mature in the head, but one can only dream ;)

Edit: I was so close to deleting this. I often write posts and then go over them and alter things and correct them until there is nothing left. I think I have done this with a least 20 percent of my posts this year.



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