I was thinking a day after I wrote this post that I have yet again failed to listen to my own advice. I have only suceeded in yet again doing something to show " this is what I can do" and that was not my intention. It is so frustrating when your trying to act on feedback that you do things without noticing them.
I have come to the conclusion that I am trying too hard. Too many conflicting thoughts are going through my head. Maybe nows time to simplify things and break things down.
Thats why I liked the blind contour drawing and the left hand drawing because we could not see the page there was no fear of messing up because it is ineveitable that you will mess it up, everyone will mess it up.
I have been making 3d models half way through then thinking this looks bad and starting again and getting just a little bit furthur and starting again. What I should be doing is make them completely even if they look bad, that way I can make the mistakes that will help me progress in one go, then make another after that having learned from them.
Its time for a change in thinking this year. I need to step back every now and then from the work and reflect and understand what I am doing.
EDIT: I have been doing some research on righ/left brain dominence and I found out that the right side of the brain tends to focus on the end result without giving much thought to the process. I think its more than a coincidence that as I am growing as an artist and learning to draw everyday and trying to speed draw all of the time, my right side of the brain has taken over, whilst before I would try to think with logic and what steps I could take to achieve something now i seem to focus on results, Strange? but is it really. Learning to switch over from one to another may be the key.
Edit:2 I feel that I am constantly contradicting myself as the moment, I think about things one day, then the next day my opinon changes. I welcome the changes in my mind, because It proves I am learning to understand myself a bit more and I like that. I feel I am learning things at uni everyday not just the academic side which is a good thing. Just being here and learning makes me realise that it dosent mean you know everything at my age, you dont. life is a constant "learning curve" I learn more through making mistakes Ive found, so i welcome them, and take from them what I can that will help me. I always thought there was more to this"uni stuff" and there is so much more its sometimes overwhelming.