Wednesday is the day I reflect on the past week and think about what it is I am doing. I have been inspired to take this a little further and write it down. I feel I may be onto something I've been skirting around this for ages without really letting it sink in. A few random events this week have given me a revelation... in all its weirdness here it is.
Vanilla latte and growing another head
A revelation in words
I have an addiction to caffeine, I cannot get through the day without it, drinking it gives me a buzz. In my eyes its no different to being an alcoholic or a heroine addict except its normal, acceptable, inexpensive and will not leave you desperate, skint and looking like a vagrant.
Regardless, I go to the coffee machine with its fancy touch screen everyday and press the “cappuccino” button every single day. Anywhere I go to drink coffee, you can be sure its cappuccino.
But today at my visit to the coffee machine I questioned my decision. I do not know why or how I came to do this but for once I considered the other options.
This time I had a Vanilla latte. I have never ever tried this but I thought what the heck and went for it. I was a little dubious about what the vanilla latte would taste like. What if I didn't like it?
The point is I tried to think about why I didn't look at the other options and the only reason I have come to discover is “fear”.
There has always been more on offer than cappuccino. The truth is I didn't know what a vanilla latte or a mocha or any of the other options was like. I knew I liked Cappuccino there fore there was no chance I would make a wrong decision. Cappuccino was SAFE.
But safe is dull.
It turned out that Vanilla latte tasted better than the Cappuccino.
Sometimes its really easy to just stick with what you think is the safest option.
On reflection the whole coffee incident was very much linked to a conversation I had with an old school friend about a cyst that was “growing” on her mothers neck. She revealed that her mother had the cyst removed because the doctor said that if left it could grow hair and teeth.
I was interested but did not quite believe this so I researched it further and it was true.
The bizarre thought crossed my mind that this would almost be like growing a second head. I'm not saying the cyst would grow a brain but what if it did?
I can guarantee that if you had “that” growing from your neck you would go straight to the doctors and have the damn thing removed.
The point is that no-one in there right mind would willingly allow that mutation to happen in full because of a fear of being different.
Imagine the benefits if you grew another head. Another brain, another set of eyes, two more ears.
Yes you would look like a freak of nature. Imagine the benefits if you let yourself evolve?
The fact is that if you take risks and chances and do something different it is highly possible that it may pay off.
Choosing the Vanilla latte paid off.
Its not about coffee or growing another head.
The whole point to this is courage. Be brave and have the bottle to break free from the prison that is normality.
Yes people may think your a bit weird, getting revelations from drinking large amounts of coffee? You cant get more stranger than that!
I think I am one small step closer to a deeper understanding. I'm starting to truly realise where I was going wrong. It may not be about travelling a distance as such, travelling takes time and in time you grow as an individual based on the obstacles you overcome down the hypothetical road. Its not the distance you cover its what happens along the way. Maybe Ill walk down the road backwards or on my hands and try something different.
The Vanilla latte and growing another head has inspired me to do the things and develop the ideas that I really want, not the ideas I feel are safe. I do not know for sure if this will help me as I do not have all the answers but if I take the risk there is a possibility I will evolve as an artist.
Evolution is a slow process. There is no quick fix here. It will take time. Evolution to a wannabe game artist is about steadily getting better and steadily getting more interesting. Not what I can do now, but what I can become.